Alfonzo Rachel fires up the grill on the inane Kutcher Pledge “to be a servant” to the President:

P.S.: Speaking as a libertarian who believes in individual liberty first, I ain’t mad at ‘cha, Zo. Continue to keep it real and be true to your beliefs and values. Also, if FNC can make room for Greg Gutfeld and Glenn Beck, they can definitely make room for you, macho sauce and all.